Monday, March 26, 2012
1. Cardio- Running away and avoiding confrontation with a zombie is always the best policy but this really depends on the kind of zombie you are faced with. If we are talking Romero zombies, slow and fumbly, yes running away will be pretty effective. If we are talking 28 Days Later zombies, good luck with that. The muscles of a living person can only push so much before they experience muscle fatigue. The undead feel no fatigue so they are able to push harder and for longer periods of time without becoming "tired". Unless you are close to somewhere you can hold up, then do yourself a favor and put them down. You'll get tired of running long before they do. Keep in mind if you are in a group you don't have to be the fastest, you just have to be faster than the slowest person.
2. Beware of bathrooms- Unless you are hold up somewhere secure then I suggest you handle your business outside. I don't know about you but I haven't been in too many bathrooms that had 2 entrances and once you get in that stall there is only one way out. If you absolutely have to use a bathroom, take someone with you and make sure it's clear.
3. Seat belts- It's always a good idea to wear seat belts but in the event of a zombie outbreak I doubt there will be too many drivers on the road.
4. Double Tap- Not such a good idea in my opinion. If you're using some kind of firearm, aim for the head and get it right the first time. Double tap does nothing but waste ammo and attract more undead. Now if you are using the preferred weapon, a large blunt or sharp object with a long reach, then by all means double tap, hell triple or quadruple tap if it makes you happy.
5. No Attachments- This rule is pretty much impossible since in times of tragedy people become closer and undoubtedly with develop relationships. The point here is that it becomes hard to put down someone who becomes infected if that person is someone you care about.
6. Travel In Groups- Very good point, it is much easier to survive in a group than it is alone. Groups of 3-10 are the ideal size. 3 gives you enough people to watch each other back and alternate on night watches. Larger groups tend to be harder to move around and are easily detected.
7. Keep The Dumb People Close- Not very good, dumb people get you killed. Try to stay as far away from them as possible. If there is one in your group make sure he gets the opportunity to "sacrifice" himself for the good of the group.
8. Kill With Efficiency- This probably should have been rule number 1. You don't have to make it all fancy or go all super commando. Just kill the thing, and don't waste too much ammo doing it. Preferably don't use any ammo if you can help it.
9. Guns Are For Hunting, Not Zombie Killing- I imagine when the shit hits the fan (furthermore known as SHTF) guns will be plentiful, ammo will not. Use them only in dire need such as protecting your camp from scavengers, a large zombie horde, or hunting. If you can, use a weapon that has "reusable" ammo such as bows and cross bows.
10. Be Quiet- Best not to draw unnecessary attention to yourself. Zombies are attracted to sound and the less you have to deal with the better. This is another reason not to use firearms unless there is no other choice.
11. Headshot- As I mentioned in rule number 4, aim for the head and do it right the first time. This doesn't just apply to firearms though. Using melee weapons is just as good if you beat them around the face and neck area.
12. Stay On The Road- I don't think this really applies since zombies don't have much of a personal preference. They can be found on and off the roads. The only real benefit to traveling on roads is you can get around quicker then, say, if you were running though the Florida swamps.
13. Find Food- Eventually you will run out of food and need to find more will arise. Nonperishable food items is what you're looking for. Don't go looking for Twinkies, they only have a shelf life of 25 days. Canned and dried foods is your best bet. Try to find things with a high calorie count. If you find a stash of MREs then you are golden. Remember, everyday isn't thanksgiving, only eat what you need.
14. Keeping Supplies Up- The search for supplies is never ending. Especially food and ammo. Don't wait until you run out to start looking for more. If you've stopped in a area for any length of time be sure and take that opportunity to take a look around for anything you might need.
15. Know Your Escape Route- Always leave yourself an exit and be sure you know where it is. Don't hold up anywhere that has only one point of entry.
16. Stomach Shots Don't Work- Don't waste your energy or ammo on gut shots, they will never work to kill a zombie. You have to shoot them in the head, cut their head off, or bash their head in. See the pattern, they all involve the head.
17. Don't Be A Hero- Survival is the key, don't stick your neck out for anyone especially if you think it will make you look good. Inevitably some of you will, some will succeed but most will fail.
18. Limber Up- Rather pointless since zombies aren't exactly going to give you some time to do some jumping jack or stretching exercises. Better just get use to acting on the fly.
19. Blend It- As sick as it might sound it's worked more than once. Sometimes you just have to rub some guts on you and try to blend in. The theory is that zombies attack based on smell and if you smell like one of them then they don't notice you. Be sure not to get any in your mouth, eyes, or open wounds. Before attempting this be sure and keep an eye on the weather. You don't exactly want it to rain while you are standing in the middle of a large crowd of zombies.
20. Find The Right Shelter- When you are looking for a place to hold up you can't just settle for anything with 4 walls and a roof. Preferably you want something with multiple exits, multiple floors, and gated fence surrounding the perimeter if you can find one. Try to avoid trailer and barns.
21. Zombies Can't Climb- If you can find some kind of shelter that is elevated off the ground that would be perfect since zombies can't really climb and the ones that can aren't very good at it. Also keep this in mind if you need to make a quick get away just don't forget that eventually you will have to climb down.
22. Be Ruthless- When the zombie invasion starts it will be back to survival of the fittest. Nothing is off limits, you have to do whatever you have to in order to survive. Anything and everything becomes a weapon and if they aren't your friend then they're your enemy and if they are your friend and they become infected, they move into the enemy category.
23. God Bless Rednecks-Not really sure where they were going with this one.
24. No Drinking- This would make sense because you always have to maintain a high level of alertness and be aware of your surroundings. Can't very well do this if you are shit faced. This would also apply to drug use.
25. Good Vehicle- Vehicles will be plentiful in the apocalypse, gas will be another story. I imagine the best vehicle will be one that can seat at least 4-5 with room for supplies. 4x4 is a plus but not required. When choosing a vehicle keep in my gas will get harder and harder to come by so that hummer may not be the best pick.
26. No Hand To Hand- This is a no brainer. If you are close enough to punch him in the face then he is close enough to bite you in the hand.
27. Blunt Objects- Ammo is something you will always have to conserve so the preferred weapon of choice is something sharp or blunt with a long reach (ie baseball bat, machete, spear). Whatever it is you decided to use make sure you get real familiar with it since you will be using it for the majority of your zombie kills.
28. No Knives- Kinda the same point as no hand to hand. You don't want to be that close to a zombie when you are trying to kill it. That being said, I'll take a knife over nothing any day.
29. Bathrooms- Not sure why they have it on this list twice but I'll cover it again. Don't go alone and make sure it's empty before you handle your business.
30. Sleeping- This reason alone is why you can't survive without a group. Eventually you will have to sleep, always make sure someone is awake to stand guard against zombies or scavengers.
31. Check The Back Seat- Always always always check the back seat. Inevitably there is always something there. Sometimes it's a zombie, sometimes it's something important you were about to leave behind.
32. Enjoy The Little Things- In a world full of zombies, death, and decay sometimes you just have to take a minute and think about positives. Maybe you hated your job, maybe you were drowning in debt. The zombie apocalypse is the perfect opportunity at a second chance in life, however short it may be. Take this time to do something you wouldn't normally do.
Posted by Vlad at 3:36 PM